Living History: Anonymous

My defining moment at Trinity

In 2013 I went off to Trinity with all the confidence in the world. I didn’t even know sexism still existed in the UK. In my first year at Trinity, I had the unwelcome realisation that it did.

I met people to whom – no matter what I did or thought, no matter what I could create – I would always just be a woman. To them, my opinions would not be judged on their value, they would always be considered less serious or noteworthy because of my gender.

I remember someone telling me about how hilarious his old school reunion was – it took place in an Eastern European brothel. Another time it was a man saying that men were not better than women, they just had different roles, and concluded that women could not be managers. Another said, ‘You wouldn’t feel confident getting on a plane with a female pilot because of PMS.’ Although taking a step back, I can see a humour in these ludicrous claims, living in an environment that normalised them was depressing.

The bystander effect was, in fact, the biggest problem: the real issue wasn’t with these extreme cases, the real problem was the cowardice of the men who did not hold these views but would not challenge them because it was easier for them to laugh along.

The more people said nothing, the more these ideas and attitudes became normal and accepted, and the more people participated in this culture of misogyny, which was very much alive and well in 2014 and probably is now too.